Review
Because if you stick your Hotpoint in the back of the Audi RS6 Avant, you've got a record-breaking combination of searing speed, load-carrying practicality and clean shirts.
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If ever a supercar was born to slog it out in the everyday melee of congestion and grime that is Britain's road network, this is it. The RS6 is happy to chug to the shops and back for all manner of mundane errands, but should the opportunity arise it will blast forward with ceaseless force.
Its utilitarian upbringing in the form of the ageing A6 Avant has been well and truly glossed over.
This has been made possible by the installation of a 4.2-litre twin-turbo V8 engine, chucking out 450bhp and a bestial 413lb-ft of torque from 1,950rpm.
Accelerating in a straight line is a truly exceptional experience. At low speeds, the engine settles into a gentle rumble and bubble through the twin exhausts. Floor it in any gear and the rumble becomes a roar, the bubble a bellow and the glorious V8 flings you forward. The noise and speed of the blast is overwhelming and there is no let up.
With a five-speed automatic gearbox seamlessly shifting up and up, there is nothing to do but hang on until you have to let go – mostly because corners are about to get in the way, sometimes because fright has.
Grip is also astonishing thanks to its quattro four-wheel drive system.
I drove the RS6 in a week of rain and mushy autumnal leaves and there was never a point at which I felt grip was running out.
Because it sticks to the road so well you need to approach its limit like a mouse edging up to the cheese in a trap – incrementally and with great caution until eventually it snaps suddenly and viciously.
So could you run this car on your fleet? Of course you could. It's an Audi, so has good general reliability, the interior – despite being laced with cool carbon fibre, Alcantara and Recaro leather seats – is generic top-end A6.
Monumental performance always goes hand-in-hand with monumental running costs and the RS6 is no exception. According to residual value experts CAP, the RS6 will cost more than 87 pence per mile, which works out at more than £52,000 over three years and 60,000 miles.
Depreciation is a massive chunk of that. According to CAP, the RS6 will be worth £20,150 after three years/ 60,000 miles, which equates to 34%.
It will not attract too much attention. Although the V8 at full chat shakes the mortar out of walls, pedestrians tend to look past the car: only a motoring anorak would notice the little RS6 badge on the grille, the tailpipes, brushed aluminium mirrors and massive five-spoke 19-inch wheels.
To everybody else, it's an Audi estate. Is that a good thing when you have spent 60 grand? Depends on your outlook.
Fantasy Fleet verdict
For a repair engineer on the move, the RS6 is the dream estate. Tools and spares in the boot, going like stink. Pretty much business as usual then.
Model: Audi RS6 Avant
Engine (cc): 4,172 bi-turbo
Power (bhp/rpm): 450/5,700
Torque (lb-ft/rpm): 413/1,950
Max speed (mph): 155 (limited)
0-62mph (sec): 4.9
Comb fuel consumption (mpg): 19.3
CO2 emissions (g/km): 350
Transmission: 5-sp Tiptronic
Fuel tank capacity (l): 82
Service interval (miles): variable
On sale: now
Contract hire rate: £1,300
Price (OTR): £58,805